Saturday, August 30, 2008

Let's Play a Game - What the hell is this song?

Well, I'd like to post it, but I cannot figure out for the life of me what servers or hosts allow music uploads. May create a video on YouTube for it. :)

If you want to try to help, comment and I'll email you the song.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Small Updates

Well, Christina and Allen are in Minnesota now. It's kind of lonely here at the house, since Anthony and Paige are both at work. Thought about calling people to go somewhere, but I have to feed the kitten every four hours.

O yeah, we now have a kitten. He's very tiny and grey, has grey eyes, too. His name is ninja. Noir has actually taken to him really well. She's to the point where she's acting like his mother (o shit, I'm a grandma!). It's nice, though.

Lonely. Maybe will exercise. Or eat...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I'm constantly interrupted. It's like I'm a seven year old kid again; "Mommy, mommy," "NO, Ferin, hush. The adults are talking." Nothing I say is fucking important to anyone, even if it is important. I feel frustrated and alone. There's only so many times I can say, "we need to figure out how much money we need while they're gone," using that word that I hate so much to describe how desperately I feel that it should be done.

Once again, I'm in a place where I feel that I've been here so long I think that it's time to move. I can't take the hostility, the greed, the ignorance.

I don't feel like going to school anymore or trying to be the temperance in the frequent storms of anger. I feel like sleeping my life away, like lying dormant until I have enough energy to go on.

It's unfortunate I haven't found a convenient passage to the roof, otherwise no one would ever see me again.

[Edit] I didn't realize this sounded like a suicide threat. It isn't. I like to read on the roof. It's a hobby. Not death, is hobby. [/Edit]

Monday, August 25, 2008

The difference between NEED and WANT

I have issues with the word need.

I feel that you don't really need anything except air, water, and, (I'm going comma crazy, I know) only every once in a while, food. For the most part anytime I'm asked, do you need this or that, my immediate response is, "I don't need anything." This is silly because I know that humans do need some things, but many many things that people say they need are completely unnecessary. So when I respond with the above, it is now to the point where anyone close to me says, "Well, would you like this and that?" which, in my opinion, is completely acceptable.

Most people don't understand the difference, which makes it difficult for me to talk to and understand them, as well as the other way around. I get tired of having to explain it to people and end up keeping my mouth shut and saying, "Such and such would be nice" or "I don't need such and such, no."

"Attention would be nice."

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Well, things are looking up, I suppose. Been knitting more. Finished that book. Stopped crying over my job. Catlin and Alexa are supposed to be coming over tomorrow. Been working on the Mage campaign (though it is ridiculously stressing). Etc.


SFG Blank Book Project

This is so cool. The whole project is outlined on the blog. Was reading through on the blog A Little Hut, where Patricia got to add a page to the SFG Blank Book. You should def. read more about it!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Zach (via text):
Remember the rules; there is no spoon, the cake is a lie, caek is good, more cowbell, don't smell the rocks, don't eat the flowers, there's no sex in the champagne room, and you just lost the game.

Damn you Zach. Damn you.
I lost.

Updated Calendar


Esp. after September 8th. You'll see.

Got the job tho.

I has a sad.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


Have a job interview on Tuesday at 2h30pm. I'm so scared. I have to do a typing thing. Ick. I can only type txt tlk and I have more than enough trouble if I can't backspace more than once. Will take a typing online thing before hand, just to judge.

Finished The Other Boleyn Girl and watched the movie yesterday. The book was so much better. The movie was so hollow. Whatev.

Supposed to have coffee with Ron, soon. SOON, plz, thx. Seriously.

Reading the new Artemis Fowl book. Well, will read it.

Started a new project on


You can't change what someone already thinks...

... and I need to get over that.

I try so hard to make everyone happy. Well, let me rephrase that. I HAVE tried so hard to make everyone happy and have had it blow up in my face ten times over. I have come to the conclusion that some people are going to hate me, regardless of how I apologize or piss of people that I know won't desert me. So, in essence, fuck it. I'm going to start doing what makes me happy; making Anthony happy, making my family happy, making the House happy, and living without traipsing around on egg-shells. It's getting to the point where it's ridiculous that I feel really guilty about the feelings and well being of someone I have never met in person, and in my feelings and actions I have hurt one of my very best friends and my husband. So I turned it around and decided not to worry about it, now my brother is angry and I feel worse than ever.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry that we can't be friends. I'm sorry that you're having a really hard time with life, and I really hope that things start getting better for you. Bad things happen to good people, but in the end everything gets better. Please don't give up, and please, for the love of god and all things beautiful, please understand why things are happening. In another time, in another place, we could have been best friends. But not now, not here, and I'm sorry for that. I feel that I truly loved you, though I don't quite know you. I truly feel that we are the same, on some levels. And one last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the anger, and the miscommunication, and the tragedy; I am so sorry for you and your family. Know that I think about you, and I pray for you in my own Pagan little way. I wish nothing but the best for you and yours. Please have no hard feelings towards me, as I have none for you. This is the last time I will write for you, not the last time I think of you. Please, be well, please be safe. Love.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


Well, still trying to decide what to do about the task at hand. People are all like, "blablabla" and I'm all like, "grr and stuff. Yeah so, for real, I'm sick of it, and I'm tired of just writing bitch-blogs to people who will never read it. So, here, I write a letter. Anyone has anything to say about it; suggestions, comments, add-ins; feel free to leave a comment. So, here goes.

Dear Christina:
I'm very dissatisfied with our current situation. I realize that you and Allen are together, so I have no right or place to say anything about the cruel and rude comments you make to hurt his feelings - except for when they have to do with me. I'm currently pissed off at your attitude when Allen was helping me with Portal and you were bitching in a soft tone about how he didn't help you "when you asked (that is, I didn't hear you and neither did he, which brings up the thought of it being true or not)" because he was "busy" helping me.
If you have something to say, please just fucking say it next time, please. We'd all appreciate it. It would make us all very happy. In fact, next time if you don't say anything, I'm going to punch you in the face. No hard feelings, or grudges, or remaining anger, just a punch in the face. Got it?
Also, stop stalking me. For serious. I was bitching about it yesterday, so I'll print that out for you. Kthx.
Yours Truly
P.s. There was NO fucking toilet paper, k?

I was telling you how I FEEL and if feelings are wrong, then so be it. Glad we could talk. Really glad.


You're an idiot. You know that? Get the FUCK over yourself and leave me alone. That not only means don't fucking talk to me or mine, but don't fucking visit my goddamn pages and spy on me you fucking sick, self-centered, bitch.

I don't like to be mean, but this is getting ridiculous. Get the fuck out of elementary school and start acting your age, not your IQ.

FUCK yourself. Please.

[EDIT] Sorry Christina. <3 Deleted. Well, all but the true, of course. :P [/EDIT]

Monday, August 04, 2008

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Awesome Blog and Article

Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Art Works

This is EXACTLY what is happening to me. It's odd how this has happened to so many people and Dell still hasn't changed!!!

Also, I love reading really opinionated articles and strong view-points. I admire those people. :) (Heart you, too, Sean!!!!)

New Blog For Mage?

Considering making a new blog for Mage: The Awakening, so I can have a place to put digests and modules. Already have a new one for knitting templates, just have to finish making the templates themselves. :(


Supposed to meet Ron for coffee soon. Can't remember what day, though.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Miss you, Miss you...

Well, I quit my job. I have the flu, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. Instead of them being nice and saying that they may cut my hours and to call if I can come in, I have been greeted rudely after it took be three hours to call in, because the line was busy or the fax answered, and they told Paige that I called off because it was the weekend. What the hell am I going to do on a weekend? My weekend is Monday when Anthony is off work. It's b.s.

Work Schedule
Mon.-Sun. - Off


Well, now I can give blood for money. Woo. I'm looking up webmaster jobs because now I'm qualified. Well, yeah.

D&D is going really well. I can't wait to finish this little quest. I just downloaded the 3.5 Monster Manual for Christina. She's stoked. Still wants the hard copy, though.

Friday, August 01, 2008

News News and More News

Well, coffee with Lil and Meghan Tibby went really well. There were a few misconstrued things there, but some of it is resolved, and Lil said that she wouldn't mind going for coffee again soon. She even mentioned that her schedule would be mostly free. I'm so happy that things are starting to go well with those I once knew.

Darin is in the hospital. Has lots of stitches on his face. Drunk driving again. Has had 14 DUI and DWIs and still doesn't have yellow plates and hasn't served jail time. If he lives through it I hope he learns. He has a fourteen year-old daughter and is less responsible than one just out of high-school. I feel bad for Alexa, but not for him. He should have learned. Idiot.

Starting a new D&D campaign. Christina is DMing. I'm playing a chaotic-neutral rogue named Leighlann (LAY-lan). She's going to be like the French Robin Hood in Shrek; "he steals from the rich and gives to the needy. He makes a little profit, but he's not greedy..."